Coworker gets banned from break room coffee machine after trying to make oatmeal in it and refusing to contribute to supplies: 'Danielle is no longer permitted to use this machine'

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  • 1 (32F) work at a midsize law firm where the real drama isn't court filings, it's in the break room. We've got a communal Keurig. Nothing fancy, just your standard setup with a drawer full of random K-Cups everyone contributes to. It's a very "unspoken honor system" kind of thing. And then came Danielle.
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  • "Coworker Got Banned from the Office Keurig for ‘Abusing the Brew Privilege'"

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  • Danielle transferred from another office last year and immediately gave "corporate girlboss with menace energy." Think loud phone calls, passive-aggressive compliments, and always wearing heels that echo down the hall like judgment. At first, we all tried to be welcoming. But within a week, she was drinking six cups of coffee a day from the Keurig. Six. We know because she kept announcing it:
  • "Just finished cup #5! Gotta stay sharp, ladies!" Cool, Danielle. Except she never brought her own pods. Like... ever. The office manager (a literal saint) sent a kind reminder asking folks to contribute to the K-Cup drawer. Danielle responded by labeling the whole drawer with her name. Like, a literal Post-it that said "Danielle's Fuel Station."
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  • It was... a choice. Then she started leaving empty K-Cup boxes next to the drawer, as if we'd believe she restocked. Sis, the box says "Pumpkin Spice," and no one has seen a single pumpkin spice pod in this building. since 2021. But the final straw?
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  • She tried to make instant oatmeal directly in the Keurig. Like, no mug. Just the oatmeal packet under the spout. The machine literally exploded. There were oats in the drip tray, in the water tank, on the ceiling tile. It smelled like burnt maple syrup for days. That's when the office manager snapped and taped a note to the Keurig: "Danielle is no longer permitted to use this machine. Please do not let her 'borrow' your mug. We are not responsible for oat-related incidents."
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  • Danielle now brings a sad jar of instant coffee and glares at the machine like it personally betrayed her. I just make my coffee with headphones in and try not to laugh when someone whispers "Keurig Killer" under their breath.
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  • ReactionEither6684 3h ago . I'm 90% sure "Do not let her borrow your mug" is legal code for "This woman is banned from civilization."
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  • jersey8894 3h ago Oh I got banned from the company keurig because I drink so much coffee...no problem I bought my own coffee pot and it's on my desk...problem was I was the ONLY person who bought the pods so if I can't use the keurig why would I continue to buy the pods? And NO I do not share my coffee maker...it's my 12 cup pot hands off!!!
  • Shoddy Move6054 · 3h ago Wait, how did the oatmeal even fit in there?? Did she just rip the packet open and... raw dog it under the spout??
  • Fun_Possession3299 · 3h ago . We had one of these. She was a giant ball of yikes.
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  • angeluscado • 3h ago the real drama isn't court filings, it's in the break room. Have worked in law firms, can confirm. Danielle sounds like a peach.

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